life drama: kabeer au sogheer

'dh kawen ek'
'wow'
'u're HOT (stare +/- sneer)'
'i like ur body, u hv, u know - (add hand gesture) big chickenbreasts ' [kidding-minus the chicken op koz]
'kwn awk ada boyfren?....kwn awak tu cantekla...'

seriously, those are among the uninvited comments that i got from hving generous assets. some of them were more than once. the last one was from an alim-looking 70s pakcik wth a kopiah who asked my fren about me while i was talking to d phone in a half-packed bookstore. (i tot he's in his 70s coz my dad in his late 50s ialah tak nmpak uban di kepala tp pakcik tu uban penuh di kepala n misai) btw pakcik, kopiah tu wat cebok ayaq kt jamban kot..

i still remember this one time during my first day @a school (i was a contract teacher).
ckgu A(female): ni xxx(my name), dia ganti xxx ajar xxx
me: (friendly smile)
ckgu B(male,30s,married):oo ajar xxx, dok mana?
me:bla bla bla...
ckgu B:da kawen?(nada 'u seem like u are')
me:(tekulat, tp cover diri) ah? belom (eyes down.innocently)
ckgu B:oo emm.. (cover)
me: (inwardly cursing. hey, i took lit for my degree, i was trained to read between the lines, to spot the language connotations and denotations. btw, like i didnt notice u're checking my ahem2 just now?)

adoi males...airhead males...find urselves a wife/wives/wh*** la to unload those tadpoles so u wont be horny like 22/7 (assuming 2 hours of CLEAN sleep) stop disgusting my species ok. or better go fcuk urself and die.

oh, females can be stewpidly insensitive too. do u think i dgn sronoknye pumped these mountains and proudly carry them around?KAMMONN LA

now whats with teeny tiny boobadeeboos---well a friend told me its embarrassing cause it feels like u're a kid, or not female enough. mcm kesian but lemme tell u aa- bigger is worse. call me ungrateful, but i'd rather have a smaller set. well at least u can always use padding to create the illusion. but for the likes of me, no matter how many layers we put on, they can nvr be concealed. and people just wont stop screening like u're an emotionless object.

and becoming emotionless i am. thanks to those numerous remarks, my skin has become thick enough to endure the stares/mocks/critics/comments etc. but seriously people, ur thoughts are uncalled for, keep 'em to urselves

am I envious?

cant help it, but deym I am~~

particularly of their busy and happily married esp parenting life

of their hectic working and paid life

of their thick pockets/bank acc. notes

of their curvaceous build

of their fair complexion

of their 'happening', fun-and-always-meeting-circles

nearing the 26th year of my life, yet it feels like im far far left behind

~laying out all inferiorities for the first entry. lame and depressing as usual~