metamorfosis: lumrah hidup

dalam hidup akan ada certain stage yg kita rasa mcm susahnya nklepas; bolehke aku hadapi ni? thats my situation now:
iaitu akan blah meninggalkan kg halaman jap lagi. mak aku la ni, nakpi harini sbb esok di nkpi Sogo, bley?

uh uh
babai keseronokan, ketenangan & kehangatan keluarga, rumah & udara penang.

well, i've been to rantauan since Form 1-Form 5 (negeri sembilan) and then university years 2003-2007, 2009-2011 (kl) but never felt like this before...hmm

this coming Monday (1st July 2012) i'll be starting my full time working days at UM. nervous nervous nervous! (partly because of the job title 'project officer': totally new)

am moving to a new phase of life now. need to be stronger than ever. wish me luck guys! i really need that.

#ya Allah permudahkanlah urusanku di dunia baru ini. cekalkan hatiku, temukan aku teman yang baik2. lindungi aku dari segala musibah, naungi aku dalam rahmatMu. aameenn#




babai nyenyet. maklong will be missing u. remember me, will ya?

pre 2nd graduation

YEAY! i guess thats how should i be feeling now







sigh



if i'm ever so happy, then why why why this dreadful heart wrenching turmoil is eating my insides .
why cant i be content of what i have
why should i measure my failure to their success
why must i appraise my pitiful lonely self to their achievements

feeling sorry for yourself wont change a thing
i should be joyful for them
i should be able to SHARE their happiness

but the words just wont sink
and the heart keeps weeping

keciwa sblm usia

mmg sah tak ikot the cameron trip.
maka tunas2 gatai itu mengecut sblm smpat bercambah mnjd bunga (ehh??)
hmm

its quite pathetic to have to rely on miracles/rare occurrences for these things to take place
sometimes i wish i were brave enough to let it out
bak kata org belum cuba belum tau
so why not give it a shot, kn
approach tgk, who knows the response is positive


tetapi
nmpknya
i'm not over self insecurities la
esp the fear of being rejected
so cane nkwat?

maybe the first step is...

menjadi kurus

so keyakinan pon bertambah
bila keyakinan meningkat, akan jd berani
bila jd berani, tak perlu lg bersembunyi

*mcm lmbt lg je nk jd berani, sbb xkn mngurus dlm ms terdekat*

tapi bila dh kurus, first2 nk ngorat dey ni:

takeshi kaneshiro: hero time skolah rendah. stil hawt~

tak paham. kami akan engkau

antara perkara yg paling menyedihkan adalah tak bertegur sapa dgn keluarga sendiri. walau serumah. bkn sbb gaduh. bkn sbb tak puas hati. myb sbb awkward. sbb xbiasa bertegur sapa. xbesa pandang mata.

sedihnya rasa bila mereka yg diikat dgn darah diletak nombor dua. ka nombor tiga?lima?sepuluh?

mgkn lupa. diakhirnya yg terikat dgn darah nilah yg xkn paling, yg xkn buang, yg xkn putus.

God even said that treating ur family/relatives is more rewarding than upon others.
family-relatives-friends-strangers
thats the hierarchy of priority. not the other way around. memberi kepada serta menggembirakan keluarga tu kan lebih utama & mulia

hmm...utama ke bila pandang muka pun xbisa?
kenapa ? salah siapa? salahkan ego kita? hebat sangatkah kita?